# Suggested problems

## Relationship

Feb. 1, 2020, 11:05 a.m. by Annlramos

## Problem

Guest marriage

You can be legally married or unmarried. Although you do not live together on a permanent basis and do not run a joint household, you are monogamous, have common goals and often invest in a joint budget. Perhaps in the future you plan to live in the same house, but in the meantime you meet regularly-on weekends, for example, or spend longer periods of time together - vacation, etc. The reasons for this form of relationship may be different: often it is a job or study in another country, the reluctance to change the established way of life and habits at an older age, the lack of their own housing or the presence of other restrictions and obligations (children, elderly parents, difficult financial situation, health problems, etc.).

Guest marriage has pros and cons. On the one hand, a certain romance and novelty of meetings remain longer, since the absence of a joint life excludes many reasons for quarrels. On the other hand, partners do not have the opportunity to really get closer and feel the same unity of interests, fusion and possession, for which many people start a story with marriage. In such relationships, it is difficult to raise children, and, in my opinion, they are good either for "young and free" or for "adults and independent".  For families with young children and jealous partners, this form of relationship can be painful.


Polyamory

Paradoxically, this decision is often made by married couples in order to preserve their marriage. Polyamory implies primarily polygamous relationships on the side — a kind of legalized treason. By the way, if you suddenly find yourself in another country and can not contact your partner, then a VPN will help you and you can install it on


Of course, polyamory requires not only a high degree of trust, but also a certain psychological maturity and independence of partners. Often this becomes the only way out for families where the "fire of love has died out", but people do not want to disperse — because of common interests, business partnerships, having children or financial obligations.

By the way, polyamory does not necessarily imply physical infidelity. Sometimes it is enough just to meet and date to breathe new life into the relationship. The essence of this form of relationship is not to change the partner, but to push the boundaries of what is allowed: to break down stereotypes, to destroy the prison wall, to prove that you are alive and free in your choice and decision-making.